Nothing To Sneeze At
by ILuvSnuffles805
Summary: Ahhh CHOO! One little sneeze and the lives of the residents of Nerima are turned upside down... What else is new! Mousse thinks he's finally found the way to make Shampoo his, but things quickly go HORRIBLY wrong...
1. Chapter 1

_PLEASE READ: This story is a re-write of a story that I began back when I was 14 years old (I'm now 20). I always really liked the idea of it, so I decided to re-work the original story, which I deleted from this site to be replaced with this one. Anyway, enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or its characters. That honor lies with Rumiko Takahashi. _

_**Chapter One**_

A soft summer breeze blew gently across the faces of the two figures, standing alone in a field of wild flowers. A girl with violet colored hair let out a soft sigh as she stared lovingly into the eyes of a tall, handsome boy whose midnight black hair was secured in a pigtail.

"Ranma hold Shampoo in arms forever!" The violet-haired girl cried to the boy who stood before her.

"You know I will, Shampoo, for you are my one and only love!" The pigtailed boy wrapped the girl in a loving embrace as he spoke.

"You no love Akane?" Shampoo asked with a smile.

"Akane who? You're the only one who matters to me, my love!"

Ranma gently held Shampoo's face in his large hands and brought it close to his.

Their lips were inches apart. "I love you." He whispered, and their lips finally met…

xxx

"Oh Ranma!" Shampoo cried as she sat up in bed. She looked around for a moment, confused, until she noticed the saliva-covered pillow she had been hugging.

With a heavy sigh, she slowly rose from her bed and walked toward the tall mirror on the other side of the room."Only dream," muttered the melancholy girl as she looked into the polished glass.

Shampoo lifted a hairbrush from the dresser beside her and began running it through her thick purple hair.

As she stared into the mirror, she noticed something move in the dark bedroom behind her. "Huh?" She leaned closer and saw a tall, dark figure standing beside her in the shadows. "EEEEEKKKK!"

"Oh Shampoo!" Mousse cried, his arms outstretched toward his beloved.

He was suddenly seeing stars when Shampoo's jewelry box smashed him on the head.

"What Mousse doing in Shampoo's room?!" She cried in rage as she stared at the half-conscious man who lay before her.

"I always watch you while you're sleeping, Shampoo," he replied in a weary voice as he rose to his feet, "But I usually have time to splash myself with water and fly out the window before you wake up…"

Shampoo shook with anger as her face turned a deep shade of crimson.

"You GET OUT!" She cried in fury.

The punch she landed on his jaw shot him straight out the window.

"Honestly, Mousse!" Shampoo mumbled to herself, "Why you no understand? Shampoo no love you!"

xxx

Mousse opened his eyes, moaning in pain as his surroundings slowly came into focus… well, came into view, at least. He lay crumpled on the ground of an abandoned lot several blocks away from the Cat Cafe. With great effort, he lifted his head from the ground.

"Why Shampoo?" He asked aloud.

A voice from above suddenly reached his ears. "Are you okay?"

"Shampoo! I knew you cared!" Mousse cried as he leapt up to embrace the woman.

"Get away from me!" the woman screamed, "Someone, help!"

"Why are you always running, Shampoo?" cried Mousse as he chased the woman, leaving his scratched glasses behind.

"Somebody, please! Help! This guy's gonna kill me!" the woman shouted as she ran up the road.

"Why would I ever hurt you, Shampoo?" Mousse called, dodging several blows from the woman's purse.

As the woman rounded the corner ahead of them, Mousse lost his footing on a rock and tripped, falling face-first into the hard ground.

He looked around frantically, but it appeared that his beloved had vanished."Shampoo!" Mousse cried in agony as he rose to his feet and slowly trudged back to the lot to retrieve his glasses.

xxx

"Two orders of ramen, great-grandmother!" Shampoo shouted over the din of conversation around her as she wiped her brow wearily. The Cat Cafe had been packed all afternoon, and there was a huge overload of orders to fill. _We need to hire new waitress._ She thought miserably. _This too much work for one girl! _

Shampoo precariously stacked the heavy plates of the next customer's order in her arms, hoping they wouldn't crash to the floor before she reached the table. "Wish Mousse come back," she muttered to herself. "We need help."

At that moment, the soft _ding _of a bell filled the air as another customer entered the restaurant. With a smile, Shampoo craned her neck around the stack of plates she carried to look towards the door, where she heard a very familiar voice.

"Jeez, Akane! Of all the places to get food, we had to come HERE?"

"It's not my fault, Ranma!" Akane snapped at her fiancé, "Your father wanted ramen and this is the only place around here that has it."

"Couldn't we have gotten delivery?" Ranma grumbled.

"Well, according to Kasumi, Cologne said it was too busy today for Shampoo to--" Before Akane could finish speaking, she was shoved aside and crashed onto the floor in a heap.

"Nihao, Ranma!"

Several customers cried out in anger as the waitress threw her arms into the air, scattering their meals in all directions.

Shampoo had pinned Ranma against the wall and was playfully stroking the collar of his shirt.

"Um...uh...Hey, Shampoo..." Ranma stuttered, fidgeting awkwardly.

"You come to see Shampoo, yes?" The girl sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Well, Ranma," Akane's mouth twitched as she clenched her fists. "You seem to be enjoying yourself!"

"Akane, I--"

WHACK!

"Akane, listen, will ya?" Ranma yelled, rubbing the large bump that was quickly forming on his head.

"Why you so jealous, Akane?" Shampoo asked with a smile, her arms still wrapped around the fumbling boy's neck. "You want Ranma for own self?"

Akane's cheeks turned a shade pinker at Shampoo's words, but her expression did not change."Why would I WANT a pervert like that?! You can have him!" Without a backward glance, she stormed out onto the street.

"Wait, Akane!" Ranma raced out the door, leaving behind both Shampoo and their food.

Cologne popped her head out from behind the tall counter. "Two ramen, order up!"

With a small shake of the head, Shampoo reluctantly returned to work. There'd be plenty of time to deal with Akane later…

xxx

"Oh Shampoo! What does Ranma have that I don't?" Mousse whispered sadly.

As he trudged down the street, he failed to notice that someone was following him.

"Girl trouble?" a gravelly voice asked.

"Who's there?" Mousse turned, preparing to attack.

The figure revealed itself to be a wizened old man with a hunched back and gnarled walking stick. He held his hands up as she spoke. "No need for violence." The man said slowly, "I am merely trying to help you."

Mousse raised an eyebrow."And how can you help me?" He asked, suddenly interested.

The man's eyes appeared to flash for a moment as he let out a low, chuckle, "Follow me, sir, and you shall see..."

"I… I don't know…"

"Come, come, young man… I think I have exactly what it is you're looking for…"

"A-alright…" Mousse hesitatingly followed the old man as he disappeared into a dimly lit shop.

The sign above the door read: "Dreams Come True".

_A/N: Hope people are interested so far! There's definitely a lot more to come… this is just the beginning! PLEASE Review!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hope anyone who's been reading has been enjoying it so far! Wanted to let everyone know I'm working on a cute, more serious one-shot that I'll post later this week (please check it out!). You'll probably notice a difference in my writing style between this story and that one, but that's because this one is a lot "lighter" and fast-moving. Anyways, enjoy the next chapter!_

_**Chapter Two**_

The moment Mousse stepped through the door of the old man's shop, his initial uneasiness was replaced with wonder when he saw the thousands of bottles and jars that lined the store's walls. Each was filled with a different colored substance – There were powders, liquids, crystals, and some swirling substances he couldn't even identify.

He took a moment to absorb his surroundings before speaking. "So… why have you brought me here?" He asked, still suspicious.

"Well, Mousse--" the man began.

Mousse took a step back, shocked. "Wait a second! How do you know my name?"

"Oh, I have my ways…" His lips stretched into a smile as he spoke. "By the way, you dropped this." He added nonchalantly, shoving Mousse's nametag from the Cat Café into his hands.

"Amazing…" Mousse's eyes widened as he stared at the old man. _Not only does he know my name… He somehow knew that this was mine! This guy must be for real…_

Mousse's heart suddenly leapt with excitement. "Well, what is it?" He asked. "What did you want to show me?"

"Follow me, my friend…"

xxx

"Akane! Come back!"

Ranma had chased his fiancée halfway home when he finally lost sight of her. "Damn…"

He slowed his pace to a walk, shaking his head sadly. He couldn't help but think of how hurt Akane had looked when Shampoo hugged him. Was she really that upset? _I hope she's okay... _

He quickly chased the thoughts from his head and resumed concentrating on finding Akane."Now where'd that idiot run off to now?" he mumbled to himself.

Unfortunately, he didn't notice the figure that had crept up behind him.

WHAM!

"So I'm an idiot now, huh Ranma!" Akane stood over him with a look of fury in her eyes. Her fist was still shaking from its impact with Ranma's head.

"Jeez Akane! And to think I was WORRIED!" Ranma snapped as he jumped up from the ground, rubbing the second lump that was now taking shape beside the first.

Akane's fist dropped and her eyes abruptly softened. "You were worried about ... me?" She felt a sudden warmth rise toward her cheeks as she spoke.

Her fiancé let out a soft laugh, "Of course! Who knows what could happen to a dumb chick like you if she was out on her own!"

"…RANMA!"

Akane chased her snickering fiancé all the way back to the dojo.

xxx

"We're home!" Akane cried as she entered the house, quickly removing her shoes.

"Hey pops!" Ranma cried as he ran inside, "Wanna do some sparring before dinner?"

He was greeted by a very angry looking panda sitting next to the table.

--Where's my ramen?--

Genma smacked his son over the head with the sign.

"Damn." Ranma muttered, "Hey, Akane! We forgot dinner!"

Akane appeared in the doorway, crossing her arms angrily. "Well if you hadn't been all over Shampoo we wouldn't have been distracted!"

"All over Shampoo?! SHE was all over ME!" Ranma yelled.

"Hmmph. Then maybe it would be easier if from now on you pick up the food as a _girl_!" As Akane spoke, she hurled a huge bucket of water through the air.

"What'd ya do THAT for?" the red-headed girl cried as she lunged towards Akane.

"Ranma, will you calm down?" Akane said as she stepped aside, "Let's just go get the food!"

Ranma took several steps back, shaking his head. "No way! I've had enough of Shampoo for one day!" He protested.

"But where else are we going to get ramen?" Akane sighed.

--That's okay. I don't feel like ramen anymore. But I'd really like some okonomiyaki.--

The panda was licking his lips as he held up the sign.

"Is your stomach ALL you think about?" Ranma scowled at his father.

"You don't have to be so rude, Ranma!" Akane shouted. She turned to the panda. "We'll head over to Ukyo's right now, Mr. Saotome!" she smiled.

"Aw, man! Two of 'em in one day?" Ranma grumbled. _Oh well, I'd take Ukyo over Shampoo ANY day._

"Come on, Ranma! Let's get going! Everyone will be back soon and they'll expect dinner to be ready!"

Akane's now female fiancé merely stared at her.

"Alright." Akane said, a small smile creeping onto her lips as she glanced toward the kitchen. "If we can't go pick up dinner, I suppose _I _could always –" She was unable to continue as a frantic-looking Ranma grabbed her hand and forcefully dragged her toward the door.

"Come on, come on! What're we waitin' for? We'd better head over to Ucchan's."

xxx

"Are you sure it'll work?" Mousse sat in the dusty back room of the small shop. Across the table, the strange old man sat, holding a small, black bottle.

"Why of course it will," he said with a smile, "But remember, you must be very careful! If you make a mistake, there's no turning back!"

"I understand," Mousse replied, adjusting his glasses, "How much?"

"25,000 yen." The man said firmly.

Mousse's face paled. "25,000 yen?! Isn't that, uh… kind of pricey?"

"Why should that matter to you?" The man's wrinkled cheeks were stretched in a smile, "If you really love this girl, why should money matter?"

"You're right…Anything for my Shampoo!"

Mousse paid the man promptly and left the store, holding the small bottle in his hands. As he walked down the quiet road, he remembered his instructions.

"To activate the spell, you must throw a handful of powder in the face of the one you wish to love you. When she sneezes, she will instantly fall in love with whomever she was looking at right before the sneeze. If all goes as planned, that person will be you."

"YES! Now Shampoo will be mine and that idiot Saotome will never come between us again!" Mousse suddenly burst into a fit of insane laughter, not noticing the stares from onlookers.

xxx

"Hey Ucchan!" Ranma called (now a boy once more).

"Just a minute Ranma-Honey!" she called from the back room of the restaurant, "I'm looking for something!"

Akane and Ranma sat at the counter, fidgeting in the awkward silence. _Akane still looks kinda upset._ Ranma thought to himself. _Maybe I should say something… _He cleared his throat to speak, but was cut-off by a shrill cry from the front door.

"Nihao, Ranma!" cried Shampoo as she flew into the room on her bike, crushing Ranma.

"Shampoo been looking for you!" she said as she removed her bike from Ranma's twitching body. "You leave food at restaurant."

"Uh...Thanks Shampoo, but..." Ranma began as Shampoo threw herself on him.

"Shampoo no let Ranma go hungry!" She began nuzzling his neck as she spoke.

"Well, Ranma. Pretty comfortable, aren't we?" Akane said, readying her fist for a punch.

But before she got the chance to strike, a huge crash came through the door as Kuno entered with his sword at the ready.

"Ranma Saotome, you have avoided me for far too long! I challenge you for the love of Akane Tendo!"

"Jeez! Will this ever end?!" Ranma cried as he pushed Shampoo off him and dodged Kuno's blow.

"Oh Shampoo!"

Akane looked away from the chaos toward the door, "What now?!"

Mousse burst in, laughing maniacally as he held up a small black bottle. "I've found it, Shampoo! Now finally, you and I –" Unfortunately he was too distracted by his own triumph to notice the scattered debris from Kuno's rather dramatic entrance. He crashed to the floor, dropping the bottle of powder. His eyes grew wide for a moment, but Mousse let out a sigh of relief when he saw that it had not tipped.

_He's really got to start wearing his glasses more often… _"Mousse! Are you alright?" Akane rushed over to him to check for injuries.

"Shampoo!" Mousse wrapped his arms around Akane.

"Um...no, it's Akane." She murmured as she handed him his glasses.

"Clumsy Mousse." Shampoo mumbled as she stared at the man who lay a few feet away from her.

"What a fair young maiden!" cried Kuno as he noticed Shampoo for the first time, "Date with me!"

A shout suddenly came from the back. "Found it!"

Ukyo gasped as she entered the room. "How did...?"

"Don't ask how these freaks got here, Ucchan." Ranma sighed, glancing over at her.

"Ranma!" shouted Akane in anger, shooting an icy stare at her fiancé.

Ukyo raised an eyebrow when she noticed Kuno amongst the usual chaos. _What's HE doing here?_

While all of this was occurring, everyone failed to notice a faint sound from the center of the room.

_plink_

The bottle had tipped, filling the air with a cloud of black powder. Even if anyone HAD noticed, it would have been too late.

Mousse was looking at Akane "Ah..."

Akane was looking at Ranma "Ah..."

Ranma was looking at Ukyo "Ah..."

Ukyo was looking at Kuno "Ah..."

Kuno was looking at Shampoo "Ah..."

And Shampoo was looking at Mousse "Ah..."

"CHOO!"

_A/N: And so it begins… Muahahahaha! ;) Please review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: This chapter's really short… sorry! I really wanted to update, so I just wrote this little transition-y chapter so I'd have something to post. The next one will be longer, I promise!_

_**Chapter Three**_

The tall figure surveyed his surroundings, confused, as he emerged from over a tall hill. "Where am I?" He muttered to himself, wearily wiping some sweat from his brow. He had been travelling up and down the coast for weeks, trying desperately to find Tokyo.

_It's hopeless,_ he thought miserably as sign above his head suddenly caught his eye. "Wait a minute…"

Ryoga Hibiki's eyes lit up as he stared at the familiar building before him. "I've found Nerima at last!" he cried with joy.

_Oh, Akane, I've finally come back to you! I hope you're in there!_

With a triumphant smile, he headed into Ucchan's.

xxx

Five figures stood and one lay on the floor as the black dust that had filled Ukyo's restaurant began to clear. They each took a moment to wonder where that strange black smoke had come from, but that could only distract them for so long. Within seconds, the room was full of pure chaos.

"Oh Akane!"

"Mousse! Get off of me! Oh, Ranma! Save me!"

"Mousse get on top of Shampoo, yes?"

"What're you guys _doing_? Don't worry – I'll get all these freaks outta here, Ucchan! I'll do anything for you!"

"Oh, um. that's alright. I'd rather have Kuno-honey do it for me. He's so _manly_!"

"What brilliance! What beauty! Come to me, my love!"

"How dare you try touch Amazon woman!"

At that point, the front door of Ucchan's opened. Ryoga's smile quickly faded and was replaced with a look of shock and confusion as he stared at the scene before him.

Akane had passionately wrapped her arms around Ranma, while he attempted to climb over the counter and get to Ukyo (who appeared to be trying to propel herself into Kuno's arms using her giant spatula). Kuno was on one knee reciting love poetry to Shampoo, despite her foot in his face. And Shampoo was holding on for dear life to the edge of Mousse's robes as he began crawling across the floor, his arms outstretched towards Akane.

They all momentarily looked up at the startled figure and mumbled, "Hey Ryoga!" before resuming their fighting and groping. Ryoga just stared in confusion.

"What's been going on since I left?" he mumbled.

Suddenly the quiet _thud_ of a walking stick on gravel could be heard from outside. In a few moments they were joined by Cologne, who looked upon the group with dismay, but not surprise.

"So it is as I had feared." She said calmly to Ryoga.

"What are you talking about, Granny? Do you know what's going on?"

She hopped past the moving pile of people and picked up the small bottle. Cologne hopped back and handed it to Ryoga.

"In hopes of winning my great-granddaughter's heart, Mousse has resorted to the Pepper Powder of Passion." Cologne shook her head as she spoke.

Ryoga was still lost. "Pepper Powder of WHAT!"

"The Pepper Powder of Passion is an old Chinese love potion. Very powerful, and very dangerous. It appears things have gotten a little out of hand."

"A little?!" Ryoga screamed, "Look at them!"

Not only were they grabbing each other, but now they were punching, kicking, hitting, and elbowing everyone who got in their way. This left a pile of moaning, badly bruised teenagers.

"Come now, Ryoga. We'd better get them over to the Cat Café and try to sort things out."

xxx

Seven teenagers and one ancient Amazon sat around a table in the Cat Café.

"So that is the reason why you love each other. It's a spell. Now all of us have to work together to find the cure or you'll be stuck like this for the rest of your lives." Cologne finished explaining the situation to the confused group of people before her.

"What are you talking about, you old ghoul?" Ranma was the first to speak. "You're just making up excuses to get me with Shampoo!"

A murmur of agreement soon began rising amongst them.

"Shampoo no want marry Ranma anymore, great-grandmother!" she leapt atop Mousse. "Airen!"

"Uh, Shampoo?" said Mousse, "We're friends, ok? JUST friends." He lightly shoved the girl off of him before advancing on Akane.

"Mousse! Get away from me!" cried Akane. "Oh Ranma! You'll protect me, won't you?"

"Can't you protect yourself?" Ranma groaned. "Just because you're my fiancée… You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that and, well..." He said, wrapping his strong arms around a struggling Ukyo.

"Kuno-Honey!" Ukyo cried, trying to untangle herself from Ranma's embrace. "I'll be there in a sec!"

"Be silent, you wretched girl! Can you not see that I am speaking to my beloved?" Kuno snapped at Ukyo. He then turned toward Shampoo. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more-uuf!"

"Strange boy get away now?" Shampoo said, removing her foot from Kuno's face.

Ryoga just stared in disbelief at the scene before him. Cologne shook her head.

"I had a feeling they wouldn't accept the truth." Cologne had to raise her voice over the flood of noise."It looks like it's up to us now." She said, turning to Ryoga.

"Up to us to do what?" Ryoga didn't like where this was going.

"To find the antidote, of course!" Cologne laughed.

Ryoga glanced over at the pathetic scene before him. "Alright…" He shuddered at the gooey, loving look Akane was giving Ranma. "Guess we don't have much of a choice… But do you have any idea what or _where_ this antidote could be?"

"Well, not exactly, sonny-boy."

Ryoga sighed wearily. Things were _never_ that simple. "Okay then, Granny. I think we may need some help on this one."

Cologne nodded in agreement. With one last look at the insanity that had just begun, the two headed towards the Tendo Dojo. Ryoga looked up at the sky.

_Maybe I should have stayed in Hokkaido…_

_A/N: Again, sorry it was so short! Please review and more will come!_


End file.
